i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
