My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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