have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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