From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
