If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
