Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
