I feel like I'm in dance class right now
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
