Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Randomize
