Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
