What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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