I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
