Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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