I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
