So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
