You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
