so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
