I want to make a zoo with you.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
