Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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