okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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