Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
