He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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