She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
