we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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