I forgot how hot balto sounded
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children