Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian

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  (773): Help. Asians are flirting in front of me<div>(773): They speak asian</div> http://tfl.nu/664g
  Replies (16) Good night (1807) Bad night (2105)
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  (650): View more from California

  Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah

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  (650): Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah http://tfl.nu/pdwe
  Replies (2) Good night (1707) Bad night (715)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight

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  (313): I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight http://tfl.nu/ts9f
  Replies (2) Good night (715) Bad night (1149)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead

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  (513): I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead http://tfl.nu/yu41
  Replies (17) Good night (6161) Bad night (1096)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower

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  (508): Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower http://tfl.nu/74dl
  Replies (21) Good night (9488) Bad night (666)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor

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  (443): i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor http://tfl.nu/enmw
  Replies (4) Good night (2415) Bad night (1280)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.

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  (250): Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party. http://tfl.nu/dnix
  Replies (4) Good night (3399) Bad night (905)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.

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  (778): He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight. http://tfl.nu/e9s1
  Replies (6) Good night (1228) Bad night (733)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?

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  (402): Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge? http://tfl.nu/w4hy
  Replies (2) Good night (609) Bad night (813)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous

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  (801): You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous http://tfl.nu/k8ug
  Replies (1) Good night (816) Bad night (559)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule

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  (502): How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule http://tfl.nu/c1c6
  Replies (15) Good night (766) Bad night (423)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.

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  (706): But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it. http://tfl.nu/x7s2
  Replies (1) Good night (336) Bad night (572)
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  (916): View more from California

  Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.

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  (916): Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is. http://tfl.nu/njx1
  Replies (2) Good night (834) Bad night (234)
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  (562): View more from California

  I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving

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  (562): I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving http://tfl.nu/yknu
  Replies (1) Good night (770) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.

  (207): View more from Maine

  What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?

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  (207): No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before. (207): What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now? http://tfl.nu/z0d4
  Replies (3) Good night (486) Bad night (223)

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