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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You guys are open that late?

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.

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• 

  These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  Why?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Last time i carry you out of a forest

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help

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  21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (312): View more from Illinois

  Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  I thought I was just out of shape.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Do you think the firemen will remember me?

  (315): View more from New York

  Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila

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