Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
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He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
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I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.