...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
