Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
