But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
