i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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