puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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