My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
