how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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