She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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