Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
