Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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