Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
