Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
