If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
