it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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