what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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