So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
