I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm at about main and main street
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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