And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
BRING THE BAGELS
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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