He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
