if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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