you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
