No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
