I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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