My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
