if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
