that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
