Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
