I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
This is the high leading the old right now
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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