She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize