I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
