I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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