Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
