glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
