I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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