In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Actions speak louder than pants.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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