Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
