THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
