Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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