my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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