How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
