The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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