so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
